a gathering of great women.

our diy infinity scarfs!

there is nothing better than spending an evening amongst friends enjoying laughter, wine, & food!

ginger love.

I'm feeling a bit under the weather today and thanks to the suggestion of a friend...I have been introduced to a new winter love: hot water infused with ginger and honey...incredibly soothing with a twist of invigoration. doesn't it sound tempting?

my new challange.

' live below your means, but within your needs' has become my inspiration of recent and my latest challenge. I'm trying to live off half my resident salary, which isn't much I know, we'll see what comes of it...

tragedy.

This month in the ICU has been extremely challenging in many different ways. My body is physically exhausted-I've never felt so sleep deprived. I've been forced to overcome my needle stick rather quickly. My heart is heavy for the patient's I've lost and today in particular is a sad day for me. I've been helping care for a young gentleman, only 39 years old, who was admitted to our ICU a short 5 days ago with Steven Johnson's syndrome and respiratory failure likely secondary to a medication he was recently given to treat bronchitis or an ear infection, the documentation is unclear. An extremely unfortunate situation. Yesterday we discovered that he had profound swelling in his brain and ultimately that his brain was not functioning. I'm not sure how this happened. He continued to clinically deteriorate today and given his prognosis the family made the decision to withdraw care. He has a wife and a daughter who is only 1 years old. I can't even swallow the reality of what has happened and how quickly their lives have changed as a result of this outcome. My soul aches. And for reasons I can't seem to understand, the words of his wife keep repeating in my head: 'all he did was take a medication' . This could happen to anyone of us, it's absolutely tragic and heart wrenching to say the least. The icu has been a brutal reminder of both the uncertainty of life and the importance of cherishing each moment in life.

l i v e.

In anticipation of my elective this month, I sat down with a piece of paper the other night making note of all the things I wanted to accomplish. Within moments, I was on #20 and felt like I was just getting started. To me this reflected with such clarity, the uncomfortable truth that I have been living an extreme life for the past 2 months. Ofcourse, this is without choice and a mere product of residency, which I am glad is a temporary lifestyle for me. Well today, I have taken that piece of paper and thrown it away. I have decided the most important thing I can do for myself, is to LIVE, which means no structure or limitations. To embrace this experience and make the best of what comes my way...it's as simple as that...so, here's to living a simple yet meaningful and fulfilling life!

what has happened to the human spirit?

I walked into work today, smiling, upbeat and with a positive attitude. As I was sitting down to review the patient list on my service, my pager goes off. I read the text that stated something like, 'this is the 4th page I'm sending, the next time I am going to page the attending' all in regards to a patient's elevated BP. For the record, that was the first page I received so you can only imagine how the rebel and non-obedient inner-self within me handled such a proclamation. I calmly and promptly returned the page, letting the nurse know that it was inappropriate to greet me with such threatening remarks, which needless to say spinned into a heated dialogue or why else would I be sharing this right? Her page was wrong for many reasons, a few I'll share: #1 she was paging the wrong person #2 there were medications already in place for BP that she did not see and #3 she lied stating she paged me numerous times. It was a completely unprofessional interaction and had me fired up all day. See, in a non-teaching hospital this behavior simply would not be acceptable. Beyond that and on a deeper level, I can't seem to understand what has happened to the human spirit. I can't imagine she would treat a patient so disrespectfully, so then why me? This is clearly not an isolated experience, I've seen this repeatedly among residents, in particular the females. I just wonder have we as a society become so overworked and unfulfilled that we no longer find appreciation and meaning in the simple interaction among humans? Have we become so cold and distant that were are numb to others? See, I come from the perspective that we all are the same and one for that matter, so when you hurt another spirit you are actually hurting yourself. Perhaps this is all something limited to the hospital and residency and I'm just being dramatic, I'm not sure.

healthy.

here's a few of my creative ventures that I've come across through my detox, which is going strong. I have to say this is the healthiest I have ever felt in my life. My hope is that this becomes a lifestyle rather than just an experience.

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quinoa with zuccini & almonds

lentils with beets & herbs

chickpea, tomato & spelt soup